Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Ants IN YOUR PANTS! And other places.
The other night when Shea (who's stripper name is now officially Monster Bitch - a whole other post) spread an entire pack of wheat crackers across my living room floor and couch, I caught myself staring at this crummy disaster, and wearily thinking "if I leave it overnight, the ants will clean up at least half of it for me". This is not a sentence I pictured myself saying when I pictured future nicki in Oz way back in 2012. At least not daily. Queensland continues to amaze me.
I've caught myself thinking about these ants quite a lot lately. Its hard not too. They are literally possibly in every square centimetre of house. Leave a speck of food anywhere and I guarantee these ants are going to be checking it out. They love meat. Sweet flesh, any kind, or juice of meat even. They can smell it from the other side of the house, I swear. Poison them? Ok, but their cousins will have moved in within 2 days, tops. Thank god they're teeny tiny. They aren't scary in the least and I've never had one bite me ever. I'm grateful for this, because what's going on here is a forced co-existence. When I go to wipe the counter-top, I tap it first with my finger, then wait and watch for the 20 or 30 seconds it takes for them all to scurry off.
All creatures, great and small.
But still, it pisses me off when they suicide bomb the honey.
Monday, 16 September 2013
The Last 6 Weeks
Well holy shit time has flown! September's half over and the closest I've come to writing about it was a 2 minute attempt on a borrowed laptop with one big problem: a french keyboard. Too many switched keys equals a typing mindfuck and I gave up.
First off, let me say that the current economic slowdown has hit the northeast coast in a big way! Used to making a grand a night, (a figure so SO many girls bemoan) ? You're happy with far less than that now. In some places, my earnings have been down by a third, and that's with me actually becoming a better dancer and a way more experienced hustler. There just isn't the same easy flow cash of the resource boom. The resource boom has banged, and all we are making do with now is some weak echos and a pause, and a hope for another boom as soon as possible.
That being said, this occupation is worth its weight in GOLD to me for the sheer staggering amount of first time experiences. For example? This past weekend, I was a proud member of a 4 girl-high stack of nakedness performing "the octopus". 8 waving legs; it was epic. I was 2nd girl on the tier, but barely registered weight pressing down on me because I was giggling so hard.
The simultaneously easiest and hardest time at work was those 14 days I spent away down South. The money is still easier there, so long as you can actually carry a conversation for 3 minutes. I made a KILLING. The men outnumber the women in that town quite a bit and the miners are especially appreciative. Its the first time I ever got an "appearance tip" (For those who don't know, as I didn't until then, that's a bit of money just for being there and looking good. I got $20.) But no amount of money in the world stopped me from missing hubby and bubs. Spending my birthday away from both of them was sad and difficult, and I won't want to do that again anytime soon. However, even though 14 days was challenging and felt like an eternity, I'm booked in again on October 2nd, and I'll go back again and again as often as I can in the near future. Its the best money for time out there at the moment, and with hubs out of work, we need it.
I've met more interesting people than you can shake a stick at, coworkers and customers alike. The man who tossed doobie-shaped bills rolled and tucked neat enough to fly through 20 feet of bar space. He would literally launch them from the bar and have them land at your feet on stage. The stripper who has low self confidence, and self-medicates by visiting remote war torn regions to prove her awesomeness and strength to herself. Stripping merely bankrolls the travel. White trash, and high class, the seedy underground draws it all in, and if you stay in the circuit for even a few months, you can be roommates with BOTH ends of the spectrum. Hooray.
Hubs is settling into his role of stay at home dad.....rather uneasily, but I suspected that it would take time. He's had a moment or eight in the last few weeks as his worldview adjusts, but I know he will survive. Providing for all three of us and our dreams puts a bit more pressure on me and has caused a bit of anxious pondering on my part, but mostly I try to stay positive and remind myself that even in the worst of depressions, sex always sells.
Aside from that, all I've been doing is knitting like a mad thing for Christmas presents, TRYING to house train and socialize this monster we adopted, and lying to the mother's groups about pretty much my entire current life.
Actually, that last part has gotten so difficult and guilt-ridden that I've nearly stopped going altogether. The all mommy talk ends up getting to me after a while and I just want to leap up and announce "so I watched a girl light her bikini area on fire with shaving cream two nights ago, then make 150 bucks. What'd y'all get up to?"
First off, let me say that the current economic slowdown has hit the northeast coast in a big way! Used to making a grand a night, (a figure so SO many girls bemoan) ? You're happy with far less than that now. In some places, my earnings have been down by a third, and that's with me actually becoming a better dancer and a way more experienced hustler. There just isn't the same easy flow cash of the resource boom. The resource boom has banged, and all we are making do with now is some weak echos and a pause, and a hope for another boom as soon as possible.
That being said, this occupation is worth its weight in GOLD to me for the sheer staggering amount of first time experiences. For example? This past weekend, I was a proud member of a 4 girl-high stack of nakedness performing "the octopus". 8 waving legs; it was epic. I was 2nd girl on the tier, but barely registered weight pressing down on me because I was giggling so hard.
The simultaneously easiest and hardest time at work was those 14 days I spent away down South. The money is still easier there, so long as you can actually carry a conversation for 3 minutes. I made a KILLING. The men outnumber the women in that town quite a bit and the miners are especially appreciative. Its the first time I ever got an "appearance tip" (For those who don't know, as I didn't until then, that's a bit of money just for being there and looking good. I got $20.) But no amount of money in the world stopped me from missing hubby and bubs. Spending my birthday away from both of them was sad and difficult, and I won't want to do that again anytime soon. However, even though 14 days was challenging and felt like an eternity, I'm booked in again on October 2nd, and I'll go back again and again as often as I can in the near future. Its the best money for time out there at the moment, and with hubs out of work, we need it.
I've met more interesting people than you can shake a stick at, coworkers and customers alike. The man who tossed doobie-shaped bills rolled and tucked neat enough to fly through 20 feet of bar space. He would literally launch them from the bar and have them land at your feet on stage. The stripper who has low self confidence, and self-medicates by visiting remote war torn regions to prove her awesomeness and strength to herself. Stripping merely bankrolls the travel. White trash, and high class, the seedy underground draws it all in, and if you stay in the circuit for even a few months, you can be roommates with BOTH ends of the spectrum. Hooray.
Hubs is settling into his role of stay at home dad.....rather uneasily, but I suspected that it would take time. He's had a moment or eight in the last few weeks as his worldview adjusts, but I know he will survive. Providing for all three of us and our dreams puts a bit more pressure on me and has caused a bit of anxious pondering on my part, but mostly I try to stay positive and remind myself that even in the worst of depressions, sex always sells.
Aside from that, all I've been doing is knitting like a mad thing for Christmas presents, TRYING to house train and socialize this monster we adopted, and lying to the mother's groups about pretty much my entire current life.
Actually, that last part has gotten so difficult and guilt-ridden that I've nearly stopped going altogether. The all mommy talk ends up getting to me after a while and I just want to leap up and announce "so I watched a girl light her bikini area on fire with shaving cream two nights ago, then make 150 bucks. What'd y'all get up to?"
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